Mind Your Manners

Posted on April 29, 2014 in Consulting

An employer can avoid workplace disputes by encouraging basic manners and common sense.  I cannot count the number of workplace lawsuits that stemmed from bad judgment and crass behavior.  Consider these three tips: stop the gossip; limit the alcohol; and watch your language. 

Ban Gossip

Several years ago I read a terrific book called, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz.  Ruiz attacks gossip as a pariah that has unfortunately become a primary means of communication.  He analogizes gossip to a computer virus.  A computer virus is a piece of computer language written in the same code as all other computer code but with a harmful intent.  Similarly, gossip sounds like any other speech yet it always has a hurtful purpose. Gossip is rarely accurate and similar to a computer virus it infects the listener with incorrect and wrongful thoughts.  However, people listen to gossip as if it were truthful.

Gossip in the workplace can create terrible consequences.  Consider this example.  Very early in my career I had a client with an anonymous poet or group of poets — we never knew if it was one or more actors — who published a Christmas poem that highlighted the rumors and gossip of the past year in rhyme.  It was admittedly clever but very hurtful.   One poem set off a sexual harassment suit by recounting the allegations in a situation that seemed to have resolved itself until the poem brought the matter to everyone’s attention and embarrassed the victim.  I always felt that the victim suffered more because of the poem (and gossip) then from the underlying harassment, which incidentally, was rather innocuous.

An employer should work hard to stop gossip from permeating its workplace.

Know your Limit

I prefer realistic advice, so I assume a supervisor may have a drink in the presence of a subordinate on occasion.  However, supervisors have to be alert and aware even when they drink with colleagues. Here are some simple rules for managers who drink with co-workers:

1. Be cautious drinking alone with a subordinate. A supervisor who drinks alone with a subordinate usually will draw attention from Human Resource, and, in some case, rightfully so.  

    

2. Avoid drinking too much in a work setting.   A supervisor who drinks too much in any work context exposes himself or herself to so many problems.   Too much alcohol creates the opportunity and circumstances for bad decision making.  Booze and secrets do not mix; the valve on confidential information opens with the consumption of alcohol.   Drinking and good judgment are rarely used in the same sentence.  Knowing your limit is really not enough. A manager should have one (maybe two) drinks and probably nothing more.   If the supervisor has time for more than two drinks, then he might just be out too late. 

Eliminate the F-word and B-word

Cursing in the workplace happens.  I am guilty of this.  However, there are a few words that should never be used at work.   The F-word and B-word are at the top of that list.    The first is used often in too many workplaces in so many different settings.   People seem to forget the obvious sexual connotation.  Some people are so oblivious to its overuse that they do not even realize how often they use the word.  The B-word is just plain sexist.  How many men refer to another man as a B-word?     Ban these ugly terms from your workplace.

A smart employer will enforce these rules to make the workplace a nicer and less litigated environment.